LITERATURE

"YOU"

We are not the masters of life,

but the slaves of invisible and

uncontrolled events.

But we are also not the slaves of other men.

Whatever we may do, we do it by our own choice.

We may blame others,(which we often do) for our

actions but others have nothing to do with our choices.

So if we make a choice to be kind or generous

we can't blame and insult the one to whom we have been kind and generous to.

We may regret our choices,

we may yell and scream with unreasonable fury

and rage at others......

but no one forces us to do anything we don't want to do.

We do everything not because of others but

because of us.

None of us can blame others for our own choices but our own selves.

We can't even blame others for their cruel,

insulting and hurtful words.

Anyone who uttered them will eventually bear the burden.

Its not that,"YOU" disrespected me, disrespected the word,

friendship but "YOU" also disrespected yourself.

For the sake of my own grace and dignity and integrity,

I never ever snapped at you while you often did.....

Even when I paid you a compliment that you are so thin,

"YOU" snapped at me while I was standing at the bottom of your stairs in

your own building where I always came to see you, spending

hours upon hours of my valuable time like a fool giving you company,

loving you, sharing my knowledge, my intelligence, conversing with

you about all sorts of things and played and laughed with your son,

you forgetting all that in your temperamental mood swings

would snap at me and many times you would lose your temper for no reason

at your store where you were always busy making money,

and I was always busy wasting my time.

You see, you wanted some kind of social exchange

but you won't meet me or any other friends

any place else but your own store so you could keep working, making money while your friends would entertain you simultaneously and you won't lose a dollar either

but its not your fault, its the fault of some one like me who came to

attend to you at the expense of their own ,"TIME"

You could have at least appreciated them but you felt you had an ,"ENTITLEMENT"

over them because you had wealth and they didn't.

But they had wealth, they had the ability to be kind to you, not to insult you, to respect you

and be gracious and grateful whenever you were generous.

But to you, giving some one some dollars is the only generosity. You couldn't compare their time, and talent and company as they giving you something also.

Actually they were giving you something which is and always will be

priceless.

No amount of wealth in the world can pay for love, affection, friendship and especially, "TIME"

God hasn't given any one the kind of wealth to repay for other people's valuable ,"TIME"

But they were, especially me was foolish to spend it on you and not on me and my work.

You could have been grateful but instead you want more, more control over human beings.

But human beings are not for sale.

There is not enough money to buy a person.

You made one mistake.

You wanted to buy a friends time for a few dollars.

No, honey, the dollar for that friend is a hateful green color.

Keep the money.

Let me keep my time for myself.

I like this exchange.

I can go ahead and read a book with that valuable time

I can write a poem................

I have time to think and read and write.

I am blessed

Who cares for any one's goodness in the shape and the color of a dollar

especially when they are going to remind you of that eventually,

"I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD TO YOU. REMEMBER THAT. MY GOODNESS

WAS A DOLLAR I GAVE YOU."

"BUT YOUR TIME WAS OF NO IMPORTANCE. IT WAS COLORLESS. I VALUE GREEN."

LITERATURE:

ZULEKHA ZALI

MENAGERIE OF WORDS

A

COLLECTION OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF

PROSE POEMS,UNCONSCIOUSNESS OF THOUGHTS,

WORDS STREWN TOGETHER, WORDS OUT OF CONTEXT,

WORDS OUT OF SHAPE,WORDS NOT CONNECTED TO ANYTHING,

WORDS JUMPING FROM ONE THOUGHT TO ANOTHER, POEMS

PERISHING,THOUGHTS PERISHING,NO LONGEVITY OF THOUGHT,

NO CONTINUITY OF THOUGHT,NO NOVEL COMING OUT OF A THOUGHT,

NO CONSTANT IDEAS,NO CONNECTION WITH THE FREE FLOWING,EVER

DISTURBING SO CALLED, "NEGATIVE ASSOCIATION" VS,"POSITIVE ASSOCIATION"

OF A THOUGHT, OF MANY THOUGHTS, OF UN-ENDING, RAMBLING THOUGHTS,

NON COHERENT, UN-ENDING FLOW OF THOUGHTS,THOUGHTS NOT CONNECTED TO ANYTHING FORWARD MOVING AND STILL CONNECTED TO THE MOVEMENT OF NO MOVEMENT AT ALL.

LOVE OF A THOUGHT, LOVE OF A CONSTANT FLOW OF THOUGHT, DISTURBING, PLEASING, HAPPY, UNHAPPY, FULFILLING, EMPTY, VACANT, EVAPORATING

THOUGHTS.

DISTURBANCES OF ALL KINDS NAMED,"POEMS"

DISTURBANCES OF CONSTANT ANGAST NAMED,"PROSE POEMS"

DISTURBANCES OF NOT KNOWING, NEVER KNOWING, SEARCHING, CONSTANTLY SEARCHING BUT SEARCHING WHAT?

EVERY DAY THE SAME.............

THE SAMENESS OF EVERY DAY'S THOUGHT NAMED A,"MONOLOGUE" A<"DIALOGUE"

A,'DIALOGUE OF NOTHING"

A, "DIALOGUE OF NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN NOTHINGNESS"

AN EGO OF IMPORTANCE VS AN EGO OF NO IMPORTANCE

WHAT'S BETTER?

EGO?

OR NO EGO?

OR A LITTLE EGO VS A BIG EGO?

A BALANCE BETWEEN A LITTLE BIT OF EGO VS NO EGO AT ALL.

PESSIMISM VS OPTIMISM?

WHO SAYS, PESSIMISM IS NO GOOD?

WHO SAYS OPTIMISM IS BETTER?

BETTER THAN WHAT?

WHOSE DEFINITION HOLDS TRUTH?

IS THERE A, "TRUTH?"

WHAT IS TRUTH?

WHOSE TRUTH?

YOURS OR MINE?

UNIVERSAL

WHO DEFINED UNIVERSAL TRUTH?

WHO BENEFITS FROM THAT UNIVERSAL TRUTH?

TO TELL THE TRUTH OR TO NOT TELL THE TRUTH?

THAT'S THE QUESTION

TELL THE TRUTH AS YOU SEE IT

GET RIDICULED

DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH AS YOU SEE IT

BE ASHAMED

TELL THE TRUTH AS YOU SEE IT

BE STARVED

BE UN-POPULAR

GET ISOLATED

NO PART OF A SO CALLED,"COMMUNITY"

TELL THE TRUTH AS YOU SEE IT

BE ALONE

DO NOT COMPLAIN

BE SATISFIED IN YOUR ISOLATION

BE CONTENT IN YOUR LONELINESS

DO NOT TELL THE TRUTH AS YOU SEE IT

BE WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE HAPPY TO HEAR IT FROM YOUR MOUTH

GET SOME BONE THROWN AT YOU LIKE A DOG

WAG YOUR TAIL

LICK THE BONE

BE THANKFUL

NOW YOU ARE PART OF A GROUP WHO ACCEPTS YOU

PART OF A GROUP WHO THROWS A BONE AT YOU FOR YOU TO LICK

BE HAPPY

BE CONTENT

BE INCLUDED

REPEAT WHAT OTHERS SAY

REPEAT WHAT THEY WANT TO HEAR

THEY WILL THROW SOME MORE CRUMBS AT YOU

YOU DON'T WANT TO STARVE?

DO YOU?

NO YOU DON'T WANT TO STARVE?

YOU WANT TO HAVE SHAME?

NO YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SHAME EITHER

SO WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?

SAY YOUR OWN WORDS TO YOURSELF

SAY YOUR OWN WORDS FOR YOUR SELF

HAVE THE INCOHERENT THOUGHTS FOR YOUR OWN SELF

HAVE THE CONSCIOUS AND THE UNCONSCIOUS

RAMBLING WORDS AND SENTENCES OUT OF SHAPE WITH TYPOS AND BAD GRAMER

FOR YOUR SELF

YOU CAN TAKE IT

YOU ARE STRONG

YOU ARE SURREALISTIC

YOU LIKE BAUDELAIRE

YOU LIKE POE

YOU LIKE RIMBAUD

DON'T YOU?

YES YOU DO

VERY MUCH SO

YOU TOLD ME

NOW DON'T YOU GO BACK ON WHAT YOU TOLD ME ONCE

NOT ONLY ONCE

MANY TIMES

MANY, MANY TIMES...............................

HAVE THEM CONSTANTLY IN YOUR THINKING

HAVE THEM CONSTANTLY IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS

HAVE THEM CONSTANTLY IN YOUR UN-CONSCIOUSNESS

WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED?

DON'T TRY TO BE GREEDY

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT

DON'T TRY TO BE WHAT YOU ARE NOT

WHAT YOU CAN NEVER BE

WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE TO BE

DON'T LIKE TO BE LIKE OTHERS

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY,"OTHERS" ARE OUT THERE/

MILLIONS

BILLIONS

CRAWLING ON THE FACE OF THIS MISERABLE EARTH LIKE WORMS

LIKE INSECTS

AFRAID OF THIS AND AFRAID OF THAT

AFRAID OF,"AUTHORITY"

ALWAYS AFRAID OF,"AUTHORITY"

THAT'S WHAT."AUTHORITY" MEANS

FEAR.................

A POWERFUL EMOTION

FEAR CREATED IN OTHERS BY THE POWER OF,"AUTHORITY"

DON'T FEAR LIKE THE BILLIONS

YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM

YOU ARE ALONE

ALL ALONE BY YOUR SELF

WITHOUT A MOTHER

WITHOUT A FATHER

WITHOUT A COUNTRY

WITHOUT A CULTURE

WITHOUT A LANGUAGE

WITHOUT THE SEASONS

WITHOUT, WITHOUT, WITHOUT EVERYTHING

WHAT SHOULD YOU BE AFRAID OF LOSING?

YOU LOST IT ALL......................

BUT YOU HAVE YOUR RAMBLING SENTENCES

WOVEN OUT OF YOUR RAMBLING THOUGHTS

YOU CAN CALL THAT ANYTHING YOU WANT

A POEM

A PROSE POEM

A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

AN AWAKE KIND OF THOUGHT

A COMA-TOZED THOUGHT

A DEAD THOUGHT EVEN

BUT A THOUGHT NEVER THE LESS

NOT UNDER THE CONTROL OF ANY PUBLISHING HOUSE

OR AN EDITOR

OR A DRAMATURGE

OR A GRANT GIVER

OR AN,"AUTHORITY"

WHICH CONTROLS

WHICH APPROVES

DON'T SEEK APPROVAL

REMEMBER WHAT VIRGINIA WOLF SAID?

"DON'T TRY TO PLEASE."

"DON'T SEEK APPROVAL"

DISPLEASE YOURSELF IF YOU WANT

PLEASE YOUR SELF IF YOU WANT

HATE YOURSELF IF YOU WANT

APPROVE OF YOUR SELF IF YOU WANT

DO NOTHING IF YOU WANT

BE ALONE IF YOU WANT

BE IN A GROUP IF YOU WANT

LAUGH IF YOU WANT

SOB IF YOU WANT

YOU SEE HOW ALONE YOU ARE.............

NO STOPPING OF ANY KIND OF EMOTION BY ANY ONE....................

THAT'S THE EVENTUAL ACHIEVEMENT

YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL NOW

YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL IN AN INDIVIDUALISTIC SOCIETY

THAT'S THE SUCCESS

YOU CAN FEND FOR YOUR SELF

YOU CAN WELCOME ANY EMOTION IN YOUR LIFE

YOU CAN REJECT ANY EMOTION IN YOUR LIFE

YOU CAN THINK, CRY, BE ANGRY, HIT SOME ONE, HIT YOURSELF, BREAK YOUR TEA CUPS, BE COMPOSED,HAVE DARJEELING TEA IN YOUR CUPS INSTEAD OF BREAKING

IT.........................

WEAR FLOWERS IN YOUR HAIR

OR SHAVE YOUR HEAD

BE WELL DRESSED

OR BE A BUM

BATHE OR DON'T BATHE...............

PERFUME YOUR SELF

OR HAVE A ROTTEN STENCH

BE SILENT

OR SCREAM

WALK OR SIT

EAT

OR STARVE YOURSELF

CONTACT PEOPLE

OR HAVE NO ONE TO CONTACT

OR HAVE NO DESIRE TO CONTACT ANY PEOPLE ANYWHERE.................

YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT ALL OF THOSE THINGS................

THEY WILL ALL DISAPPEAR EVENTUALLY EVEN IF THEY WERE EVER

PART OF YOUR LIFE BEFORE...............

THEY WILL DISAPPEAR........

NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.....

BUT ONE THING WILL NEVR LEAVE YOU

YOU AND YOUR THOUGHTS............

RAMBLING THOUGHTS

CONNECTED THOUGHTS

UN=CONNECTED THOUGHTS

POEMS

PROSE POEMS

WORDS...

SENTENCES

RAMBLING SENTENCES MAKING NO SENSE TO ANY ONE

BUT THEY ARE YOURS AND WILL ALWAYS BE YOURS

THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU TILL THE END

THEY WILL GET MORE CONFUSED

MORE CONFUSING

MORE I COHERENT

MORE OUT OSF SHAPE

OUT OF FORM

MORE OUT OF A NARRATIVE

MORE OUT OF A STORY TELLERS SKILLS

THEY WILL RAMBLE IN YOUR DREAMS

IN YOUR NIGHTMARES

THEY WILL KEEP YOU AWAKE ALL NIGHT

THEY WILL SCARE YOU WHEN YOU ARE FAST A SLEEP

THEY WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR BIRTH

TO YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER

TO YOUR CHILDHOOD HOME

TO YOUR CELL OF AN APT

TO THE AIRY FIELDS WITH JASMINE SCENT

TO THE SMELL OF PISS AND SHIT IN THE PARK

WHERE THE DOGS WILL BARK AT YOU AND SCARE YOU

WHERE THE OWNERS OF THE DOGS WILL ALSO BARK AT YOU AND SCARE YOU OUT OF YOUR WITS IF YOU HAVE ANY LEFT............

WHERE THE MOTHERS OF CHILDREN WILL REDUCE YOU TO SHREDS WITH THEIER

SUPERIORITY OF FERTILITY AND THEIR CHOICES AND THEIR SUPER WOMEN

POWERS................................

WHERE YOU WILL BE UN-ABLE TO ASSERT YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU NEITHER HAVE A DOG, NOR A CHILD, NOR A BABY CARAGE OR A LEASH OR A NANY FROM NORT AFRICA

NOR A MAN NEXT TO YOU WHO IS A CORRUPT SO CALLED, "FINANCIER"

NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE MEANING OF A."FINANCIER"

MUST MANAGE FINANCE

I WONDER IF HE MANGES HIS FINANCE OR SOME ONE ELSE'S

AND IF HE MANGES HIS OWN FINANCES OW DID HE GET THE FINANCES TO MANGE

TO BEGIN WITH?

AND IF HE MANGES OTHER PEOPLE'S FINANCES HOW DID THEY HIRE HIM WITHOUT

ANY FINANCES OF HIS OWN?

OH! WELL TO MUCH FOR SOME ONE TO UNDERSTAND, THE WORD, FINANCE

FOR SOME ONE WHO JUST RAMBLES ALONG............DAY AND NIGHT WITH

INCORRECT GRAMMAR ......................................

PEOPLE IN THE BUSINESS OF,"RAMBLING THOUGHTS AND UNCONNECTED,

INCOHERENT, IN COHERENT THOUGHTS AND POEMS MADE OUT OF THOSE DISCONNECTED THOUGHTS CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE WORD,"FINANCE"

ANOTHER WORD I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO COMPREHEND EITHER

AND THAT IS, "CONSULTANT."

"CONSULTANCY"

WHAT DO THEY CONSULT?

WHAT DO THEY NEED A CONSULTANT FOR?

WHAT IS A CONSULTANT ANY WAY?

WELL! SHOULDN'T BOTHER WITH SUCH COMPLICATED WORDS..............

JUST RAMBLE ALONG, RAMBLE ALONG.......

MAKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS

YOUR OWN SENTENCES

YOUR OWN POEMS

YOUR OWN PROSE POEMS

THEY ARE NOT GOING TO AN EDITOR TO BE CORRECTED

THEY ARE NOT GOING TO GO TO A PUBLISHER TO BE PUBLISHED............

PUBLISHED FOR WHAT PURPOSE?

PUBLISHED FOR WHOM?

YOU THINK PEOPLE WHO BARK AT YOU LIKE DOGS IN THE PARK AND PEOPLE

AT ALL CROSSROADS WHO WANTS TO SMASH YOUR TOES AND SHOULDER BLADES TO SMITHREENS ON THE SIDE WALKS ARE GOING TO READ YOUR RAMBLE AFTER YOU ARE DEAD AND GONE?

"OH! POOR THING, WE BARKED AT HER WHEN SHE WAS LIVING, LETS READ HER POETRY NOW"

YOU THINK THEY ARE GOING TO GET THAT BOOK WHICH SOME GODFORSAKEN

ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH MIGHT PUBLISH OUT OF A BLUNDER OF HIS LIFE TIME?

RAMBLE ON...................

THAT'S YOUR VOCATION

YOU ARE BORN TO POSSESS, "MENAGERIE OF WORDS"

AND YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO STRING THEM ALONG LIKE FLOWERS ON A THREAD

AND MAKE A GARLAND OUT OF IT..................

WHO CARES IF THE COLORS OF THE FLOWERS DON'T FIT NEXT TO EACH OTHERS?

WHO CARES IF THE JASMINE IS NEXT TO THE SUN FLOWER OR NEXT TO THE DAFFODILS?

THEY ARE FLOWERS NEVERTHELESS

AND THEY ARE YOUR FLOWERS

AND YOU ARRANGED THEM INTO A GARLAND OF YOUR OWN ESSENCE AND YOUR

OWN DISCONNECTED THOUGHT OF THAT MOMENT.

YOUR GARLAND HAS YOUR OWN PECULIAR AND SPECIAL SCENT..............

PEOPLE REMEMBER PEOPLE BY THEIR SCENT.

THEY WILL REMEMBER YOU BY YOUR SCENT AND BY YOUR

MENAGERIE OF WORDS....................................

AND IF THEY DON'T?

WHO CARES.............WHO CARES...............WHO CARES..................

YOU DIDN'T HAVE PEOPLE ANY WAY

YOU ONLY HAD WORDS..............

A DELICATE, TENDER, MELODIOUS, SAD MENAGERIE OF WORDS.